Tom Murphy
RedwoodAge.com
Happy Holidays? Well, maybe not for your parents if they're lonely, in failing health or worried about their finances.
While mass media feeds us months of jolly jingles at this time of year, many elderly people feel isolated in assisted living centers, separated from old friends and haunted by the ghosts of Christmas past.
It's not only important to visit aging parents at this time, but to use the opportunity to check up on how they're doing.
Many caregivers see their parents often, but others can't because they don't live nearby. And some families go off to celebrate on a ski trip or with another part of the family - leaving grandma and grandpa behind.
"More than 60 percent of adult children live away from their aging parents and the holidays may be the one time a year when boomers and their aging parents gather," said Leanne Reynolds, president of Homewatch CareGivers, a company that provides in-home care throughout the US. "It's important to use that time to assess their overall mood, gauge their level of worry, talk about health concerns and create a family plan that involves the aging parent's input to reduce their stress and anxiety about their future."
Heavy Burdens
Reynolds noted that, according to Mental
Health America, about 15 percent of the 35 million adults over 65
show significant symptoms of depression, but only 10 percent receive treatment.
That suggests 1.7 million seniors who need some help don't get it.
"Our elder care clients face physical limitations, declining health, retirement, isolation from family and friends, changed living arrangements or ongoing financial constraints," said Reynolds, rattling off a list of problems that may be weighing on seniors as their families focus on joyous celebrations.
Leaving parents alone at the holidays can make things worse, according to Ariel Kleckner Ford, the founder of CareSquare.com, which connects families and caregivers through a social network.
"Families leaving for the holidays can consider respite care for a family member who cannot them join them and may be feeling 'left behind,'" she suggested, explaining that respite care allows short-term visits from a certified nurse's assistant, a home health aide or a senior care companion.
"Care is often about caring for the emotional well-being of a person in addition to any medical needs they may have," she said. "A respite care provider can provide companionship and conversation during an otherwise lonely period during the holidays."
7 Holiday Tips
Reynolds offered seven tips to ensure help guide
boomers as they try to juggle the demands of their children
and their parents.
Financial Health: About 9.9 percent of seniors live in poverty, sometimes without their children knowing. A holiday visit is a good time to speak to as your parents if they could use some help in the coming year.
Physical Limits: Watch for signs of physical and mental limitations. Don't force them into group activities that may violate their need for rest or their favorite activities.
Healthy Diet: The average person gains five pounds around the holidays, and holiday meals can pose a special problem for people with age-related health problems like diabetes.
Share Traditions: Let your parents talk about their lives and loved-ones, including memories of lost friends.
Pay Attention: Look for changes in your parents, especially if you don't see them often. Do they need more help? Are they avoiding social situations? Are their concerns out of proportion to reality?
Check Medications: Ask them about the medications they take and watch for possible side effects. Also watch for "self-medication" through alcohol. Consider a durable medical power of attorney so you can speak with their doctor about your concerns.
Watch Their Mood: Look for signs of depression or anxiety that may point to a need for professional assistance. Crying and apathy are easy-to-miss signs of possible problems.
For more information, check on these sites: AARP Health Conditions, Help with Anxiety Disorders,and National Institute of Health - Anxiety.
